Long time since last..
I’ve had to feel into what I really wanted to do with this blog or if I wanted to continue. Slow mover as I am and feeling like: “you have to post more often if you want to keep blogging” but the words “have to” immediately make all enjoyment vanish for me, so those words don’t apply here: my blog is meant to fit me, not the other way around. I’m just tweaking things to keep the blog enjoyable to myself and hopefully a few kindred spirits who might come across this blog.
First of all, I will post more photos from my everyday life and also open up a little more of my unique, introspective, a bit quirky, pondering and dreamer-kind of self, show what interests exactly me and how I perceive and experience the world. Share a little about my personal healing journey as well which I‘ve been on for several years and still am. I remember how Elaine Aron, author of “the highly sensitive person”, suggests that a good way to approach us sensitive/introverted ones, is to ask: “so what are you preoccupied with at the moment?” instead of the usual “what are you doing at the moment?” and I totally agree, since what I am physically “doing” is never as important to me as my current “ponderings” on (at least to me) interesting and profound subjects, mostly of a philosophical, psychological and spiritual nature.
Some of these preoccupations, later turn into creative projects such as poems, paintings and other artistic expressions. I love to “lose myself” in something; immerse myself in music or other art forms (or just my own thoughts, haha).
Another thing Elaine Aron mentions is how we sensitives are meant to live “A symbolic Life”: an idea, I really resonate with! The older I get, the more I realize how the inner and outer world is not as separate as it might seem, but very much interwoven realms. It’s like a mysterious conversation. Over the last 15 years, I’ve become increasingly able to view certain situations, issues and conflicts in my life as reflections of inner themes or beliefs, playing out in often symbolic or metaphorical ways. By now I can’t turn off this ability and desire to always dig a little deeper. I find it fascinating!
Until now, many of my inherent traits haven’t been fully acknowledged: how important they are to me and how much they define me as a person! But no wonder perhaps, since I honestly haven’t been open about them: feeling like these parts of me were of lesser value, to no real use, escapism or worse: an embarrassing personal flaw. I’ve been hiding them most of my life, which is the same as hiding my authentic self, really.
I still don’t know how to function properly in the world as a “normal”, down-to-earth, practical person for a longer time span and not without feeling depleted slowly but surely. To re-charge my batteries, I need to be in a state of reverie or reflectiveness. I can’t help it and have to acknowledge this need by now; I guess it’s simply who I am!